A Search For Wisdom

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be wise. In my mind that meant being someone who exercised good, sound judgment, had a discerning mind. Someone who could offer good counsel to others. I can’t quite pinpoint the why this was so important to me. But it was. So I prayed for it on a regular basis since I was a child.

As a Christian, I grew up knowing that I could not be wise on my own and that wisdom could only come from the Lord. I had to earnestly seek and ask for it while I pursued a deeper relationship with God. So I would pray for wisdom. Growing up, I would often try to be the voice of reason for myself and others. I would try to give good advice to my friends whenever they shared their troubles with me, and they often did. And for the most part, people seemed to think I did that well.

Fast forward to today. I am now a therapist. Ultimate wisdom unlocked. No, I’m joking. It’s really quite the opposite. I have only become more aware of how far from wisdom I truly am. And it’s not that I think of myself as completely foolish, although I definitely can be. Looking back, I do believe that God honored my persistent prayers and allowed me to grow in wisdom throughout my life. But I don’t see it as something to simply be claimed or achieved anymore.

In my younger years, I thought that wisdom meant always making the right decisions in my own life. I thought it meant always communicating harsh truths to friends if they were struggling to see them or veering away from good choices. And sure, there is a time and place for these things. But I became very prideful and judgmental in doing this. I didn’t take into account that I am neither capable of nor qualified for “always.” And when I started to see that more clearly, it felt refreshing and freeing.

I think a part of me was fearful that I’d be seen as one of the foolish ones, unable to get my act together. Which is funny now because I for sure was a foolish one and did not have my act together at all. But letting go of my version of wisdom helped me see how much I lacked. I began to grow more compassionate, loving, and gracious towards people. And I became that much more in awe of God. He is perfect wisdom, all-knowing, all-powerful, capable and qualified for always, and yet wholly compassionate, loving, and gracious towards us.

One of the inspirations for this blog is this Bible verse: “How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?” (Proverbs 1:22). It made me realize that perhaps more often than not, we lack wisdom because we actually love to lack it. We love being simple and love to choose foolish things. Maybe it’s some version of the Peter Pan syndrome where we don’t want to grow up. The idea that we want to do what we want, when we want, the way we want, with no consequences. Or maybe foolishness is what we know and what we’re comfortable with. Searching for the wisdom thing is too much work or maybe not even on our radar.

Whatever the reason could be, I think I would truly hate to live in a world where everyone lived like that. At the end of the day, I think a lack of wisdom leads to a life of foolishness, poor judgment, and a self-centeredness. A life where we hurt ourselves and the people around us. That’s not who I want to be. And I feel this more strongly as the years and life stages go by. I don’t want to be someone who stops seeking wisdom. I want to continuously humble myself, especially as I age, and allow my heart and mind to be forever shaped by the Lord and His wisdom.

I hope to live with the phrase “No Longer Simple” in mind and to share bits of my journey through life in hopes that it will remind and encourage me to continually grow in wisdom. And I can only hope that whoever stumbles upon this blog will be encouraged to do the same.

So, Wisdom cries aloud and asks me, once again, “how long, O simple one, will you love being simple?”